You're All .....

 CUNTS!!!!

Planet Err?

It was 30 years ago to this very day that Duran Duran released their first single 'Planet Earth'. Back In 1981, in my world (I was 9/10 years old), Thursday night was the most important night of the week because TOP OF THE POPS was on.

In Blighty we only had 2 and a half TV channels at that point and this was about your only chance to see what was happening in music (I was a bit

 too young to appreciate Old Grey Whistle Test et al then). So, there I sat with my curly wurly, then I see and hear something that would signify the beginning of a whole lifestyle movement for me.

Pssst!!

We're going to DISNEYWORLD!!!!

Woooooooofuckinghooooooooooooo!!!!!

Never mind the bollocks ....

Yeah, er, been a bit busy lately so haven't done any blogging ... So a bit of a catch up really (like you care)

So since my last post, the one where I found out I was ill, life's not been too bad! As far as my health goes I have bad days but not as bad as doctors thought I might be. I'm trying to stay positive (which goes against every fibre of my being) and looks like it's working atm :)

Karma?

Turns out I'm quite ill!! ... Nothing life threatening (at the moment) but it's something that is incurable and has the potential to become quite nasty. I have an autoimmune illness. For now it's mucking about with my thyroid, which means (most importantly) that my weight fluctuates GREATLY. I lost half a stone in one week but I also put it back on in 4 days then lose it again .. It's so annoying

Blast From The Past

I met up with an old old old old boyfriend (kind of) from years ago this weekend

Well, actually, we have been speaking for some time after we caught up on facebook and he asked me to go to a concert with him ... Which, I hasten to add, has yet to come

Miss Havisham

You know, I can see myself being single for the rest of my life.

Every time I talk to a man with a view to potentially dating, the words 'Cunt, Twat, Wanker and Arsehole' repeatedly go through my mind

Beyond a joke now!!

OK .. enough's enough!!!

I have now been celibate for 8 months .. Just typing that fills me with disbelief and wonder on how I have done it. And how I have survived, mores the point!!

It's easy to resist sex as giving up the cigarette's made me so unbelievably fat no man on this god forsaken planet would WANT to relieve me of my 'cold' period.

LAUGH NOW!!

These are some of the funniest videos .. Ever!!!

David Firth

Great film maker .. And Funny!!!

Beautiful

Love this .. Don't care if it smells like shit, I WANT A BOTTLE! All on the strength of this beautiful ad

Chris Cunningham

'trestin !!!

Wot's Bin 'Apnin!!!

Well not an awful lot, actually .. But will fill in a bit of recent news (get your cocoa and slippers lol)
Nightmare Before Christmas ATP - MY BLOODY VALENTINE curating!

A Book Review of 'The Book Thief' by Markus Zusak

It's Gay, dull and tiresome ..... Don't Bother!!

Brand is all about 'BRAND'

I have watched Russell Brand Since he was in obscurity land via MTV all the way up to present. Have sort of followed his career with an ever growing curiosity.

He appears to be a self confessed fucked up individual who has overcome many issues in his life and admits to still fighting some. He has had a colourful past with lots of bizarre incidents, some sad some funny.

He comes from the same part of the world as myself and seems to have some of the issues I have acquired throughout my life also. I thought 'there's someone I can identify with' in some ways and found him somewhat sexually attractive. Above all I admired his honesty and his articulate way of telling his story injected with self depreciating humour. His working class roots show in his demeanour and from watching many interviews with him, as the interviewer and the interviewee, thought 'yes .. He's fantastic'!

Why oh Why oh

why oh why oh why do I have to do ironing, cook dinner, wash dishes, make beds, clean the house, go food shopping, take kid backwards and forwards, feed cats and MAKE A FUCKING EASTER BONNET when I really should be getting pissed, fucked and stoned!?!?!

Wwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?

Bloodyfuckingfags

Still missing the fag's but it's alright, I've found something new to keep my fingers busy (had to leave the ann summers item alone due to R.S.I)

It's .. TWITTER! ... You can stalk celebrities and everything and it's fine cos so many other sad acts do it so you don't feel too weird. Actually it's a bit of shit and I'm pretty sure no one famous actually reads my comments .. Got plenty of fucking 13 year old boys following me tho!! I probably remind them of their dirty auntie. The one with the big tits who kisses them a bit too much at weddings and christenings.

It's a weird, wired and tragic-fueled place but it's kinda fun to take part .. And observe

Day One ... Again!!!!

Here we go again but this time I'm trying the patches

SMOKING!!! ARGHHHHH!!

I'm feeling the familiar day one symptoms of quitting ... Coughing, dry mouth, dizziness, irritability, difficulty with concentration and incredibly hungry!!!

Goodbye fag's hello obesity clinic!!

Legs still crossed

I'm doing well ..... Been celibate about 3 weeks now ... Intend to stay that way also

Friends

I have some absolutely fantastic friends .... I am eternally grateful for them

Men come and go .... Friends are there always

Who needs a man when you have such brilliant friends


I have my mates .. I have a vibrator .. Think I might as well leave men alone Yup .. Men .. Go do one :0)

OH NO!!!!

I'M SKINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Synchronicity

Funny how thing's turn out sometimes

I have a very close friend who has started seeing someone 16 years younger than her (she's 40 he's 24) ... I didn't disaprove but I did think 'eeewwwww'

Now I have a 24 year old wanting to take me out .. He seems quite mature and intelligent, great sense of humour and absolutely fucking amazingly gorgeous!!

I don't want to make a fool out of myself (done enough of that lately) so I'm not totally sure what to do ... Part of me thinks 'oh do it life's too short' but then the other part is saying 'He's 24 for fucks sake!!!'

Lol .. oh the decisions I have to make lately are straight out of fiction!!!

Mistletoe and Slime

Yes you guessed it!! It's that time of year again

The time of year when you are fleeced for every penny you have (and more) .. That time of year when you go out and get pissed at every opportunity because you're so fucking depressed lol

If a ginger kid bites me, what should I do?

FAQ

Is Gingervitis contagious?
●yes, Ginger Kids are born with Gingervitis. It is hereditary and can be contracted by them biting you or touching you, avoid contact at all costs.

Do Ginger Kids have Souls?
●Unfortunately no, Ginger Kids are born without souls. A common misconception is that you need a soul to survive. This is completely false. Ginger Kids are people just like everyone else, even if they don’t have souls. Many Ginger Kids live happy, healthy, productive lives devoid of any sort of soul.

Rollins Gets It Right

How very apt

You will be mine .. Oh yes, you will be mine!!

Maybe not today or tomorrow .. But soon my pretty, soon

Lol .. These are Christian Louboutin works of art at a mere snip of £430. They are sold out everywhere at the moment and I could probably never afford them but hey!

I will have wild passionate sex with anyone who buys them for me hehe

They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said .....

A long long while ago, when these things started coming to light, a friend actually came up with a theory that I have a sex addiction

And all these years later I'm giving that theory some consideration!! I have this self destructive thing when I feed my habit. I feel disgusted with myself as on the inside, generally, I have a lot of self respect .. But every now and then I get into a position where I can't resist

Thick

School quiz last night and our team came 5th, which was last place ... And shall I tell you why? Well firstly they were gay questions all about TV which i never watch and also all of us were off our faces drunk.

I am mortified about that night in general .. totally mortified ... Feel cheap and nasty :0(

Oops!!

Well I managed to get to the Dirty Pretty Thing's gig .. Didn't see too much of the show though

I spent most of it getting slowly pissed and semi-seduced ... Was a fun night though

Dirty Pretty Things

This band is proving a bit of a difficulty for me!!!

A while ago I bought tickets to go and see them. This is the third time I have attempted to see them and the other two times I ended up selling the tickets on ebay as everyone I know has let me down.

And again, I am scraping around looking for someone again as mate has had change of plans

No one wants to see them ... why?? I think they are really really good

I know one person who says they like them but ... I shouldn't ask him .. He's a wanker lol

I'm fucking determined to go even if it means going on my own!!!!!

Cooooooooooooooooooooooooool

This is my new favouritest cocktail .. yummy!!

FUN! FUN! FUN!

I'm having so much fun this week!!

I was just walking around the supermarket with a big grin on my face

If only every week was like this one ..... Can't wait for the weekend

I think it's going to be ..... FUN!!! :0)

Desperate Measures

Actually saw this in my local newsagents window (it had got a bit crumpled so filled in what was missing --- stylish!!) ... What d'ya reckon?!?! Pmsl

My new love

Is fabulous and sexy and will probably hurt like hell :0)

This is the love i want

Isn't it lovely?? And it doesn't piss you off :0)

Scarred for life

But in a good way

Let me introduce you to my new tattoo

Eye closer

See that post below??

What a pile of steaming bullshit that turned out to be ... AGAIN!!

What the fuck is it with men?!?! It's like ... How dare you have a brain and/or an opinion!!

Hahahaha I will never work them out as long as I live

Serves me right for dating someone who looks like an aging male stripper with the social graces of a farm animal and intelligence of a pit bull terrier

I only wanted to fuck him not buy him!!! But I'm nobodies fool and know when I'm being FOBBED OFF!!

Not sure why he bothered ... But he definitely got more than he bargained for with me :0)

Eye opener

My god!!

Have I actually met a decent man?!?! After a bit of confusion and crossed wires and a little bit of fine tuning I think I have found one.

Am naturally cautious and nobodies fool so will just go with the flow and enjoy!!

FREEDOM!!!

FREE AT LAST!!!

For four years I have been a slave to a certain relationship. It has caused me more pain and joy than I have ever known in my entire life.

I really did accept the fact that we had some kind of affinity and I was destined to suffer his mood swings for ever. But just like that .. I was released!

These are a few of my favourite things

I love lyrics

Some lines from some songs that i just love love love

"What's the point of being rich if you can't think what to do with it? 'Cause you're so bleedin' thick" - Pulp

"The world falls down around you. You build up walls around you. You wear disgust like a crown" - Rollins Band


"Crooked little smile on her face, tells a tale of grace that's all her own. Spinning, laughing, dancing to her favorite song. A little girl with nothing wrong And she's all alone" - Norah Jones

"Now this feeling's so alive, But, as you or anything, we die ... We die." - Ride

Top Ten Fav Albums (at the moment) ...

1. Up The Bracket - The Libertines
2. Drink Me - Queen Adreena
3. Whatever People Say I Am That's What I'm Not - Arctic Monkeys
4. Dirty - Sonic Youth
5. Fever To Tell - The Yeah Yeah Yeah's
6. Waterloo To Anywhere - Dirty Pretty Things
7. Songs For The Deaf - Queens Of The Stone Age
8. Doolittle - The Pixies
9. Race From A Burning Building - Linoleum
10. A Different Class - Pulp

That is all

gardening

I hate gardening and anything to do with it at all

This is when I need a man .. to do a mans job .. last guy i lived with wouldn't do it though.

Said it was a waste of time as it grows again (fucking retard)

I will gladly suck any ones knob if they come and do my gardening for me

Oh WHAT!!!!!!

New film for 2009 Public Enemies starring ... wait for it ..... Johnny Depp AND Christian Bale!!!

I may have to take something absorbent to sit on if I go to watch it